Wednesday, October 8, 2008

What are they looking at?

I guess I should have thought about this blog thing a little more carefully. I write - not only to inform my family and friends, but also....for therapy. Sometimes it just makes me feel better. I am thinking - maybe a TALL glass of wine could have provided the same great feeling....so why am I writing now?



It suddenly occurred to me today....that everyone I know - literally - everyone I know and a LOT of people I do not know.....will know about my.....(in a hushed tone) "transformation." First of all - ladies.. PLEASE DO NOT HATE ME. It is not my fault that very soon I will never have to wear a bra again. CAll it one of the "bennies" of breast cancer. Or, one of the bennies of having a bilateral mastectomy.



Yes - I know, I told everyone.....because I wrote it here last night. And EVERY person I have run into today...I SWEAR looked at my boobs. It was almost like they were thinking "I better get a last look at the real thing." And then I thought to myself - these people have NO IDEA about your blog.....but, of course, I feel like I am walking around with a lighted neon sign on top of my head that says, " LOOK AT ME. I WILL SOON NO LONGER BE.....SANDRA DEE."



So, what are they looking at? Probably nothing. Most people look at the chest first, anyway - right? I mean - how many people do you look in the eye? I look everyone in the eye....but I always do the perverbial....look up and down the body to see if there are any changes (okay - I really do not do that....but I know people that do that.....you know - the ones who notice if you wear the same pair of shoes two days in a row......and probably know if you wear the same pair of undies two days in a row!!!!)



I just want you to know, after careful thought and consideration - I am going to be VERY PROUD of my ..... breast replacements. (Is that politically correct?) When my mom had her breast removed - they gave her a freakin balloon to put in her bra. For the rest of her life she walked around with crooked boobs. I know she and my dad didn't care - but holy cow, crooked boobs???????


Hey - thanks for your prayers, cookies (which Melissa is making for me), peanut clusters (oops - don't have those yet), soup, retail therapy experiences....and well - thanks for thinking of me and my family. I truly love you - and pray EVERY DAY that God blesses you as you have blessed me...

P.S. I wrote this, David read it - and I had to edit it.....It was so much funnier before I took out all of the stuff he advised!!!! I think that I forget......while I am trying to make light of a tough situation...he is living it, too. While I may think it is funny, to him it represents fear. I need to apologize if I have made anyone feel that way. I just prefer to laugh about it....instead of cry about it. I mean - I have put it in my Father's Hands.....and I trust He will get me - and you - through this......because that is what He does........





Okay - til next time!!!

3 comments:

ken said...

Okay, but after Dave's in bed, send me the raw version. Hey, I've known you longer than he has. Even back before you had...Oh nevermind...
Praise God for you, Becky. Anyone who ever stared at your chest was missing those blue eyes that had to have been designed by God when He was having a remarkably good day.
kb

Hallie said...

Ok Becky....I am just going to admit it...I'm not proud...I AM jealous :) No more "boulder holders"? Well..."pebble holders" maybe in my case...hee hee(We all know Grandma kept that gene to herself :) Never feel bad about what you feel Bec....thats what we are ALL here for....to listen and love :)Always! I agree with Ken...God definitely had several remarkable days :) I love you!

Shelley said...

I agree with Ken ... God did have a beautiful day when he created you. By the way, the new shirt you were wearing yesterday really showed off God's work of art - your baby blues.

Keep on journaling ... it not only helps you through this journey in your life, it helps all of us feel like we are closer to you. Since we can't be there all the time, this is an excellent tool to keep us close to you.

Love and Prayers -
Shelley