Miracles.....Carolyn

Survivor Guilt. I can't explain it - I don't think I ever felt guilty for surviving. I felt guilty for being thankful that I didn't die.....especially when I was witnessing those who WERE going to die. I know that was a mouthful - does it make any sense?

Yesterday David and I drove to Ft. Madison, Iowa to visit MariJane. She used to work for David and Bill for YEARS in the real estate business - and she is a fantastic woman. We often refer to her as the "Queen of Real Estate". Actually - anyone who knew her in her prime refers to her as the same. She is top notch.

She moved away from Pittsfield about 6 years ago and I am ashamed to say....we had never it up to see her. Until yesterday. And this trip - well.......this trip had to happen. You see, MariJane called us about 4 weeks ago to tell us that her daughter, Carolyn, had been diagnosed with a terminal cancer. STOP!!!!!! Of course, my first thought was - phooey.....we will pray her through this. God can change anything.....He can.

So, I prayed about this trip about sharing Jesus with Carolyn and changing her life - about showering her with the love of Jesus. And letting her know that the one thing you can always count on is Him (well....dying and paying taxes........but even taxes can be skirted.) I met Carolyn about 7 years ago. She had shown up to help her mom sell her properties - and David was buying them. He had always admired MariJane's things and was looking forward to carrying on her traditions. It was an interesting meeting - I liked Carolyn from the start. Think of the most strong-willed person you have ever met and I promise you....they do not hold a candle to Carolyn!!! She and I really hit it off!!!

Yesterday David and I were expecting to see a very sick Carolyn......I had envisioned a sick woman, unable to eat, or function.....because this cancer is aggressive and it is eating her insides. We showed up at MariJane's and high-tailed it over to Carolyn's house. When we walked in - there she was, sitting at the kitchen table getting her hair cut!! And I must tell you - she was more beautiful than I had ever seen her. Now, I had only met her once - but I had seen photos - and WOW did she look great!!! It was hard for me to imagine that she is dying - and according to the doctors will be gone very soon.......

I just had to write to tell you about her because the visit was so profound - I went there expecting to share something to "rock her world." And before the day was over - she had rocked mine. We were standing at the door to leave and it was simply hard to walk away (no tears, by the way - that would have ticked Carolyn off.....NO TEARS ALLOWED!!!) I looked her and our conversation went something like this:

ME: "Carolyn - you truly are a remarkable woman. I came here today to tell you how much I love you and how much Jesus loves you...and you have taken my breath away with your strength and courage. NO ONE could handle what you are living like you have done. Your family is truly blessed."

CAROLYN: "Well, I see it like this. We are only here for a very short time. And in that time I believe we need to love as much as we can, learn as much as we can, and give as much as we can. If we are not doing that, then we are not doing something right."

I feel so blessed to have spent that two hours with her - and as I left I told her it was my hope that we would see each other again. I believe in miracles and I believe God will make her well. I don't know how that will happen - maybe a miracle on earth, or maybe not......but what I DO know....is HE is changing the lives of every person that has the opportunity to know her. I thank God that HE gave me that chance.