Sunday, November 9, 2008

Humor and the Healing process

When I first read the documents from my reconstructive surgeon with the directions for "care" post-surgery, I didn't really pay THAT close attention. Why? Well, probably because I am a mother of 4, wife to 1, and someone who likes to be needed. Therefore, like every other mother out there, I knew that as soon as surgery was over I would get right back into the swing of things as soon as I (and I emphasize the word I) felt like it. (There I go again, trying to always be in control).

As you can well imagine, each visit to whatever doctor I am seeing is an opportunity for me to learn - and I ask questions. I assumed on Friday that once the tubes were out I would miraculously be able to lift my arms above my shoulders, resume my exercise routine (okay - maybe I knew I still would not be able to lift weights) and do whatever I needed to do. That thought was crushed when Carmen said, "Remember - no vaccuuming, no nothing for you." You know, I have always encouraged my children to not take everything at face value (aaaahhhh....for those of you who know Austin, it now becomes crystal clear....). It's true - don't just believe what someone says - check it out for yourself...whether it be a preacher, a politician, or a teacher. Be respectful, but don't be afraid to question. ( However, I feel as if I should explain - that rule is waived a bit at home.....MOM ALWAYS WINS is my motto. But I DO listen!) That is why I had to ask Carmen why I couldn't move my arms....

She explained the healing process to me. The tubes are out, and the tissue expanders are in. Each time I move my arm and engage any of the muscles in my chest area, it creates excess fluid. As long as there are fluids, it can not heal properly, and hence, my new ta-ta's (as Nelsie calls them) will not look as nice - and it could be painful, as well. YIKES - the word "pain" was all I needed to hear. I am already in pain, I certainly do not want to create more. Therefore, for at least 30 days I am not to engage these muscles. I challenge you - just try it for 5 minutes. Now, I feel like every tme I move I am engaging them....and my kids love it.

Last night Sophie was defying her mother and I knew she needed a swat on the butt - David was gone.....and I was really at a loss. I couldn't swat her. I thought about asking Austin to do it - but he is the big brother and I rather feared he might enjoy it a tad too much....not to mention that would be totally irresponsible of me. (and we all know I am not irresponsible.....) So I said, "Sophia Marie McCartney. Tell your sister you're sorry - or sit in time out...and I will have to spank you in 30 days. Believe me, child, I am keeping track and when the thirty days is up - I WILL deliver." The best part was the look on her face. NOTHING stops Sophie - if you tell her to go, she stops. If you say yes - she says no; if you say blue she says red. She decided to say she was sorry. I suppose the steam coming out of my ears had something to do with her response.

A few days after I was diagnosed with cancer I was talking to David about the yard sale I had planned with JoGari. I wanted to start getting the stuff out of the attic and priced - I knew it would take at least a week. He looked at me, and with as much emotion as I have ever seen he emphatically stated, "Becky, you need to get your priorities straight. I do believe there is something else you need to be focused on right now." Okay, I have to admit, even though he is the husband, he is bound to be right at least once in a while....and this was one of those times (mark it down, honey!!) - so, I became focused, but I did not and DO not want it to consume my life. I guess that is where the humor comes from.

The humor is how I know people were praying for me BEFORE any of this ever started. Why? Consider this passage - Proverbs 17:22 "A merry heart does good, like medicine, but a broken spirit dries the bones." I couldn't explain why I felt like I did...and do....except to say it was God - and it is. I am humbled and without words.

It seems that with each new day on this journey I learn something new - and today, of course, is no different. God Bless You......with a Merry Heart in all things.

p.s. Happy Birthday to sissy (Robin) and Teresa!!

2 comments:

Debbie Groeper said...

We have been following your progesss ever since David gave us your blog information. You truly are a unique strong individual. We pray for you daily and hope for a speedy recovery. I enjoy reading your blog on a daily basis. Your truly are an inspiration to all. Let us know if there is anything we can help with.

Dawn Miller said...

Becky, Our entire family has been praying for you...the Alloways that is. I think you know what I mean. Mom is supposed to be mailing you a card to let you know that we are thinking of you always...but you know how that goes. Her intentions are good!! Dad has actually been able to listen to updates regarding how you are doing...which surprised me!! He can't even stand to hear about Jaedyn having a yeast infection. He high tails it outa the room with his ears plugged...saying LA LA LA!! LOL!! You continue to inspire me that I have the strength to be a single mother of Miller children, especially BOYS!! If you need ANYTHING...even company now that Robin and Nelsie have gone home....PLEASE LET ME KNOW!! Remember...I have every other weekend free!! Praying for you and the family daily!!! Dawn Miller