Love Life....Day 14

The other day I received an email from my friend Kim....she had a gift for me and wanted to know if she should mail it or come over. Well.....of course I said to come over. Quite frankly, getting to visit with a friend is the best gift I could receive - so I was very glad to take her up on that.

She arrived with her daughter, Tally....who my daughters immediately began to interrogate (and drive nuts)...or so I thought. It was actually a bit hysterical. Tally came into the room where we were visiting to give updates every 15 minutes on what was going on with the girls...(I am still laughing). Anyway....it was a perfect evening.....and the gift...

Kim gave me a ring with an inscription on it. The outside of the ring says "Love Life" and the inside says "Be Brave." I have worn it every day since. You know, as a hormonal woman my instinct has been to stay at home and hide the first 11 days after chemo. Seriously - you don't want to see me, anyway. I am simply not very nice....so I don't love life on those days....or, at least I think my actions might say I don't love life. And brave??? Brave is sporting a 100 pound backpack and trekking through the mountains of Afghanistan looking for some really bad people.....brave is taking chemo knowing your chance of living is very slim...but you would do anything to stay alive. I can think of a lot of definitions for brave - and not one of them applies to me. However, the idea humbles me. I want to be brave.....I really do.

Tomorrow.....when they stick in the needle and I start to feel the effects.... (It is pretty immediate - and, quite frankly, not so bad. Because the first thing I feel is like I am higher than a kite. They tell me this is the medicine that keeps me from feeling sick. I think it is the medicine that makes me nice for a couple of days - I am really happy on day 1. ) Anyway.....back to the point. When I get stuck and I start to think about my kids....which is what I do. I will remember to love everything about the moment - it is allowing me to keep the only life I have.