First Day of Chemo

I'm not sure what is going to come out of my mouth in this blog.....but I wanted to share with you my "First".

First of all, the day started out well for us - the kids got to school....and I need to say...that I thank God daily for friends and family. Today it was Frank and JoGari. Which - our girls loved that.....they love both of them. Apparently today they loved Frank more - something about JoGari picking up Sophie and Sophie told her that she didn't like her....kids can be so cruel. Let me add - last week, JoGari was the second coming for Sophie - I think the youngest one (she is 3) just likes to be.....confrontational. Anything to get the party started with that kid.

So - David and I were off to Siteman. We were in town when I realized I forgot the parking pass that would only cost us $1 to park. This distressed me greatly since I knew the last time we were there it cose $17.50 for the day to park. Since I had the pass - it cost us $1!!!!! Oh well....we decided that since we have only 5 of those passes left and a minimum of 16 more trips......we would not go back.

The schedule for this glorious day was to get blood drawn at 9:45, meet with my medical oncologist at 10:20 and chemo to begin at 11:30. I was also looking forward to spending the day with Beth and her dad. I was looking for her - starting at 9:10 when David and I were in the waiting room.....when I came out of the blood draw and David indicated she had not arrived, I had a moment of silence. And not five minutes later I received a txt message from Beth that her dad had passed earlier that morning, Tuesday, December 2nd. Please know that your continued prayers for the family of Jim Beard are so appreciated......I didn't really know "Beardie's dad" that well.....but I know he was a fighter. This man survived a brutal cancer for 19 months. And in the midst of the battle, he taught others around him to love, to believe, and to hope. What a beautiful legacy he has left for his family.....in his family....Jim is now in Heaven rejoicing with his friends and family - and I have no doubt that my mom was in the front of the line to tell him THANK YOU, Jim.....for giving people hope - for showing my daughter how to fight......I am sure she followed that with, "I love you, Jim - welcome to Heaven." AND....in the background my daddy echoed, "Okay, Jim....time to party!! Somebody put on the Elvis."

I very much appreciate that each of my chemo appointments will start with the blood draw and then I will have the opportunity to meet with my doctor for an hour......isn't that incredible??? (Should be.....the rate for a consult is $370....regardless if I am in there 5 minutes or 50...so I take full advantage.) I had a million questions.....you know - the obvious. My list included the following, very important...gotta know this...questions

Since I know my hair will be falling out.....I was wondering if ALL of my hair will fall out. Dr. replied, "well, you may not lose all of your eyebrows." What about my eyelashes?.....he replied, "I don't know the answer to that one....I have never asked any of my patients." (yikes...note to self - tell Dr. Michel if I lose my eyebrows). Finally.....I asked him about hair in the lower extremities. He indicated I might not have to shave my legs....YIPPEEE...some good news, I thought!!! I could tell he was not used to the hair question venturiing beyond the head.....so I decided not to probe further.

• Exercise - can not lift anything more than 10 pounds. I wanted more info on this - since I enjoy lifting as a part of my "former" exercise routine. So I asked for how long....and his repsonse was a word I was always told to NEVER use. He indicated, "Forever." Okay - not the response I was wanting....and he did tell me I should talk to Dr. Margenthaler....and he was specifically talking about the arm which they took the sentinel node from (so only the left arm)
  
• Sick and fatigue - what can I expect? Fatigue....inevitable, probably. Sick - if I am....just let them know and they will adjust the meds. Great - all doable.
  
• FYI - we discussed the meds I will be on and the effect of the White Blood cell counts, red blood cell counts, platelets, etc. I just don't want to bore you with those details right now - I am quite certain over the next 5 months there will be time for that...
  

So we were on to chemo. I signed in and lo and behold the first thing David and I got was a "tour." The gal showed us where to sign in - and to be SURE to get the parking ticket stamped because when you get chemo...parking is FREE (they find a way to get us benefits for everything.) She also pointed out the 3 bathrooms, the 4 pods of patients, and the fact that they provide snacks (chocolate chip cookies, pretzels, and peanut butter crackers.)

After the fabulous 30 second walking tour, they showed me to my "chair" (that has a somewhat frightening ring to it)....but the chair had such an inviting look. As you can see from the photo I had my own TV, armrests, and could even recline a little - although the gal across the way had a REAL recliner (she was also there for a 4 hour-drip......oh my I know now what that means...more later.) The gals had me all hooked up and the nurse walked over to me to inform me that they had absolutely everything on the order they needed EXCEPT (the dreaded word) the first page with the doctors signature. She indicated that they had faxed it over for the doctor to sign and he should be faxing it back. I looked at her in utter DISBELIEF and exclaimed, "You ARE aware, nurse, that the doctor you are referrng to is located exactly 20 seconds away from this very office.....would it not be easier to walk it over?" WWWell - that is just not the way they do things. So, I informed her that if the order was not back in 15 minutes I would walk it over myself.......sometimes they are just WAY TOO organized for their own good. I was a bit freaked out because the lady next to me had been lying there for more than 3 HOURS waiting for a 30-minute drip.....

Chemo started at 12:15 and ended at 3:30....not too bad for the first day. I actually felt great. We went downstairs to see Dr. Brant and he put 2 ounces of fluid in each of my tissue expanders (all of 60 seconds to complete) and David and I were off....to the first floor for some freebies.

Yeah - this place is fantastic. I recieved a turban and a fantastic hat, a nutrition book and met a great lady...Eileen was her name - a nurse and breast cancer survivor herself.....maybe more later on her, too.

We were FINALLY pulling out at 4:50pm. I was feeling really good - it had been a great day and I thought I should recap what I had learned....because it was a LOT!!! I would summarize it as follows:

• Drink 100 ounces of water each day
• Do not each candies or drinks with sugar
• eat 6 small meals each day
• Bathe daily - stay clean and free from bacteria
• Avoid large crowds (I mentioned basketballl.....I can go - just don't sit by anyone....can you imagine - people will think I have the plague...no, actually, they will probably think I am stuck-up!!)
• Do not come in close contact with anyone who has had a cold, fever, or the flu within the last two weeks (I have 4 kids - are they kidding??)
• Do not lift arms above head - AT ALL - until after implant surgery (which is in June)
• DO NOT RUN EVER.........until after implant surgery - I can walk as long as I do not move my arms (I am really struggling with this one)
• Do not life anything over 5 pounds (different doctor
• Possible memory loss (I will have to use this one!!!)
  
  And we were off...as I said earlier...and it had been a long day....and David did not make it to Interstate 70 before I thought I was going to hurl. And I got a severe case of dry-mouth. And I couldn't keep my eyes open. I thought something foreign had invaded my body and taken over - and then I realized it had....it is called chemo.....Adriamycin, Cyclophosphamide, and Anastin to be exact.....along with what was SUPPOSED TO BE a medicine to keep me from getting mauteous for the first 24-72 hours. That freakin nateau stuff didn't last me 5 hours, let alone 24 (note to self....tell them I weigh 150 pounds....not 15.0 pounds!!!!)
  

When we got to Mary's I was so happy to see the girls - I knew Austin was at basketball and I would not get to see him. We loaded up the car - after Bella indicated she did not feel well......let me describe to you the 7 minute car ride to our house. For the first few minutes Bella just kept saying she did not feel well and she wanted her mommy.....keep in mind the LAST thing I was told was to stay away from sick people - the first thing I see when I get home is a sick child and all I wanted to do was hold her.........about 3 minutes into the ride, Bella vomitted (into the bag grandma had sent, thank god!!!!!) and she started screaming the following, "I WANT MY MOMMY. MOMMY. MOMMY. MOMMY." Simultaneously Sophie screamed, "Bella pooked. Bella is pooking. Bella is pooking." And Gracie, "Daddy - I am going to puke. Bella is going to make me sick. For Heavens Sake, Bella stop puking and stop screaming."

David was speechless and I was trying to calm Bella from the front of the vehicle - David was telling me to get out of the car and to not go near her....and I started to bawl. I wasn't doing it loudly as I did not want the kids to see or hear....but as a mother I can tell you my sickness was - and is- secondary to the needs of my kids....and then David is grabbing me and saying - "do NOT go near her Becky....I do not want you to get sick. PLEASE listen to me."

So we all went into the house - and David took care of everything. Then Austin came home....By this time, I am so sick I can't stand up. I was in the fetal position in the bathroom and heard him coming. So, I got up and went to the bed to lay. He stayed there and talked for 15 minutes - and I just kept praying God would allow me to not get sick in front of him.....and God did real good!!!!! I can not begin to tell you how thankful I was for that - I CHERISH those moments at the end of the day when my kids share with me....particularly Austin at this age - he has a girlfriend, and is very active. And I love that he shares - I will NOT miss this part of his life. Not even for one day.

The next few hours will remain nameless. There are certain things I can do and say - that I will only do and say around David. I can tell you, however, without a doubt, God came down from Heaven and touched me - literally - through my husband last night as I lay on the bathroom floor and he rubbed my back. Thank you, God, for that moment......all of them

I want to back-up......thank you for the calls last night. Unfortunately, given all that was happening - my cell phone, David's cell phone and the home phone weren't answered for quite some time....but I know you called and I just want to say thank you.....I love you very, very much.

On a lighter note, David is on the way to the pharmacy this morning to pick up four more medications that should make me stop feeling like I could hurl at any moment...and another to increase my white blood cell count. YIPPPEE!!!! All is well in the end. I just thank God that HE is forever faithful. How could anyone do this alone??????????????????

p.s. Good news. At the end of my talk with Austin I asked him if he was happy about basketball....and he replied, "Oh, yeah....well, maybe with the exception of 6am practices." YES!!!!