The comment Box, Please.......

I received an email today about a whale that was caught off the coast of SanFrancisco..close to the Golden Gate Bridge. This whale had become entangled in a web of spider traps, ropes, and other difficult things to maneuver. A fisherman spotted the whale and called for help - it became clear quite quickly that the only way to save the whale was to dive right in and cut it free....a dangerous proposition for those willing to dive in - because one flop of the tail could be fatal to a human. But, true to the spirit of giving to others - they dove in and saved her. Afterwards, she swam around them in a joyous circle - gently nudging each of them as if to say "Thank you." And, she never took her eye off the fellow who cut her mouth free - an eery, and beautfiful feeling, I am quite sure!!



I read the email more than once, sent by mom Castle. And it gave me pause. Of course, I looked at it as a parable of sorts - Jesus always told stories to get a message across, and maybe this was a story to get a message across to me, as well (a true story , by the way - they had the photographs!!!)



I have spent the last several days/weeks/months becoming tangled sometimes in a web of self-obsession. Seriously - at first I was obsessed with ANYTHIGN I could read about breast cancer (which gave me nearly fatal brain overload), then I was obsessed about my weight and having to take steroids (ok - still obsessing there....but I am GETTING it...OK), I was very obsessesed, inwardly, about the spiritual well-being of my kids through all this (that was not necessary - has truly become a non-event in their lives). There have been other obsessions - David is obsessed with making sure the kids do NOT see my breast scars. I asked him how he is going to explain that to the many volunteers who are WANTING to help with that situation - he had no response. I think he thought I was kidding. Oh well - we'll deal with that when the time comes.



My latest obsession has been dreading the chemo trip. Yesterday was #3 - ONLY 13 to go YIPPEE!!!!! I am thrilled. So, I was supposed to spend the day with Beth - and PLEASE PRAY FOR BETH AND HER FAMILY. Her father recently passed away and now her mother is facing multiple surgeries due to a terrible fall on the ice. Needless to say - Beth needed to be with her mom - and I know I will get some private time with her and the girls soon........I gotta tell you, though, I felt the wires gripping tight when I heard the news of her mom - I knew she would be unavailable and although I had planned to bring comfort to her during the day - I knew she would make me laugh - probably all day!! (selfish on my part - good friends are such a jewel).



So what did God do for me? He sent Hillary. that is my dear, dear friend Jill. David gets the biggest kick out of her - he told me he thought it would be an interesting day for me. He had absolutely no idea.



First of all, we had to drop Nelsie off at the airport to go back to Baltimore. That is always a tough time for us - we usually have Kenny take her so we don't have the dreaded good-bye. What I would not give to get her back to Illinois.....she is a single, 31 year-old, beautiful girl inside and out (maybe a little high maintenance - but for heavens sake she has been on her own since she was 18 - I think she's entitled to that...and I digress...we'll save the "Nelsie info-mercial" for another blog. I'll probably get 1000 hits on that one!!!)



Second, the girls chatted so much the whole way down there that I never got an opportunity to text my friend Troy at 107.1 - we text EVERY other Tuesday on the way to chemo and he plays my songs and David and I get a real high out of that!!! It is literally the highlight of the day for us. I will make up for that at the next trip!!! And what were we talking about? Saving the world, of course...



So Jill and I finally get to the Hospital. I tried to get her to park like David (he pulls illegally up the left lane of level 4 - there are always a TON of spots there). Jill refused to do anything illegal. Wow - I knew I was going to have to break her in.



Where do I begin? We got right in for the blood draw, the boob-pump, the doctor visit, and then the chemo began....Finally - I was so hoping they would get me in early - I AM ALWAYS there early..but it never matters. I have learned - chemo is on time...or a little late. They average 150 patients each day - and on Monday they had 182 - YIKES!!!



Jill was such a trooper through the whole day. It was interesting to get her feedback. While we were waiting in the lobby she was overwhelmed by the number of young people there. (I think she meant people our age). Yeah - you don't think anyone has cancer until you go to this waiting room.....and then you realize it is a real thing for a lot of people - a lot of people who may be dealing with spider nets and ropes tied around their hearts and their bodies...I don't like that thought. I am so glad that I say "Merry Christmas" to everyone I see.....



We finally got back to POD 3 - I will always be in POD 3. I had a "tumor" cancer and this is where they take care of us - not to mention I am part of a clinical trial and they take of us there, too. There are other chemo areas - they have an area for liquid cancers (leukemia, etc - cancers of the blood), and finally for blood marrow cancers. All of these cancers are treated very differently - which is why they put them in different areas.



How do I know all this stuff? Her name is RENEE - and we love her. I actually look forward to seeing her when I go - and pray that she doesn't take Tuesdays off!!! I am not sure what I would do if I go next time and she isn't there - she makes chemo FUN....seriously - she does. When we walked back to the room she asked if there was anything we needed. Jill bent down and whispered in her ear , "Yeah, could you tell me where the Bloody Mary bar is?" Renee calmly replied that drinks would be served at 3pm but until that time she was on her own - I KNEW we were all going to hit it off! Let me add - that Jill was ssaying stuff like this to me all day. There are times when she talks that I bend over laughing and she says, "Oh my gosh are you ok - shoudl you be laughing that hard?" I promised her that I would not tell everything....you have no idea how hard that is for me - she is a real comedian.



At least that is what I thought ( I would be up and having a rip-roaring time) . Renee started my pre-meds and I fell asleep - I slept the ENTIRE time...I have never done that. I will definately try it again in two weeks, because I think it helped. At least, they told me it did. And today - well, today has been the very best "next day" I have had to date!!!!



So what about people diving in to help a whale in trouble. That is what nurse Renee is. You know - she loves her job. She mentioned that she even cries sometimes when she goes home - but she knows that what they are doing is a GREAT thing. She shared a story about a very young gal who was there and on her death bed.......today - that girl is married and has two kids. A miracle, no doubt - the result of many people diving in to cut the wires. And it is nice to meet people who live and breathe it all day long. Renee - well - she not only gives to all of us, but she gives to all she knows. She is in the process of cutting those wires for a dear friend - who needs a place to live. I am very much abbreviating this story - but I want you to get the jist. These nurses are special. So special that I don't even know her title - I just know her name....which is WAY more important to me!!!



SO - thank you, Renee, for being one of the many people who have jumped in to cut my wires and save my life - I hope that I can swim around you in joyous circles and leave you with many blessings.........God Bless You.



And the comment box? Well, Jill decided that since there were no Bloody Mary Bars for the "supporters and friends" she would simply make a few suggestions....we just couldn't find the comment box!!!! (Jill - I heard you loud and clear - thank you for making my day a bit brighter....I will find that comment box, dear!)