"That's Beautiful, Mom"

I am not kidding when I say that I have tried.....every day....to see the goodness that surrounds me. ...I often look to my kids - the obvious choice since there are four of them and they are in close proximity to me at all times. And, as you can imagine, there are days when I think I will never see the goodness God has bestowed upon me. Now, I will admit - that terrible outlook is a direct result of my mood, I am quite certain....because the goodness is everywhere - I just sometimes - have my eyes closed (or just see what I want to see).....Well, today was no exception.

We went to church, and, as with most Sundays, I didn't get to enjoy the message, because I spent most of my time in "pew management." Ensuring that the floor is not scattered with cheerios...and the girls are doing as they should (like not killing each other). I am pretty sure God squints at me several times each week....since I most certainly threaten the lives of my children at LEAST three to four times during each service. And it ain't pretty....Today, as I sat there listening (or trying to....), Sophie came to me and put her arm around me and said, "You are so beautiful, mommy." Well, at that moment, nothing else mattered. All worries were gone and I was in complete harmony with....well, with something that felt really good........because she said it like...four or five times during church alone. I was wondering where this child came from....and then I decided to just enjoy it. My head was burning up (hot flashes from the chemo) and it was nice to focus on something else.

Now, not that I am a pessimist. As a matter of fact, I consider myself an eternal optimist. I never even questioned that Sophie really thought her mom was beautiful - you know......beautiful - what do YOU think of when you hear the word beautiful? Well, I was to soon learn that all is not always as it seems. You see, being Sunday, I usually take this day to wrap up loose ends - like, dust on the bed post, shoes out of order, and the clipping of kids' finger and toe nails. I summoned the girls to the bathroom and decided to start with Sophie.....since she loves this chore about as much as I loved my first 8 weeks of chemo...or better yet, as much as anyone loves a root canal without novicane!!

As I was clipping, Sophie grabbed her foot and said, "Oh, mom, that is so beautiful..........." I immediately flashed back to church and the several times my daughter had told me I was beautiful and realized...........beautiful OBVIOUSLY meant something very different to my three year old!!!! I had to laugh a little......she evidently did not appreciate my threats and found her own way to tell me so........

So what did I learn today? What goodness did I see? I saw an awesome God, who created me, and my children, and you in His image.....and in His infinite goodness (perfect wisdom), decided to bestow upon my daughter the word "Beautiful" ........thank God....it saved me having to follow through on my threats......

Have a Beautiful day.....