God exposed

Throughout the course of the last 5 months I have been blessed beyond measure on this journey. I have cried very few tears of sorrow, as I have shared with you....but I have cried many tears of Joy......and humility. It is quite humbling to experience firsthand the awesome power of God's love. I know we all receive it daily....there are times I am simply overwhelmed by His grace......and I cry.

I can give you many examples of what God has done for me - I have hesitated to ever use names....because there are SO MANY.....so many people who have touched my life through this process. But today - today I think I have to be a little specific, because I have to confess - and expose God. As a manager, my philosophy was ALWAYS to give credit where it was due. How else could I gain the respect of my employees? If you don't give proper credit - you will lose the good ones.....and be exposed. If you DO give credit....you will be exposed, as well....but in a much better way!!!

One of the first times I cried tears of thankfulness was October 27th. It was two days before my surgery and my phone rang. It was Wendy. She told me she was going to bring dinner over for my family the next night - so that my last night at home I would not have to cook...I could simply be with my family and enjoy the evening. David and I were at Terry's house - I remember it quite vividly. I was driving and he was standing outside of the vehicle talking to them. David got back in, I looked at him - and I had tears in my eyes....I couldn't stop crying. He asked me what was wrong....and I said nothing....absolutely nothing. God is taking care of every detail.

And so it has been. I can tell you stories about Jill, Patti, Shelley, Anissa, Butch and Ellen (parents of a friend from high school who regularly send me cards from their winter home in Texas......how humbling to know God reaches to all parts of the country - and the world - to have people pray for me....and bring me blessings), Joe (makes the best sloppy Joes in the world), Cindy, Kim, Beth, Diana, Troy, Nelsie, my sister, Angi, Aunt Patty, Renee, Jeanette, KB and KB, everyone from Tennessee, many people I don't know.....I could go on and on and on......you see - the list is endless because it is managed by God. Man is He awesome......and this week, He brought me to my knees.....He reminded me that He is in control - and I need to remember that. God is in the details....

Of course it is no secret I have obsessed about my weight gain (17 pounds as of Tuesday!!!). While my friend Jens was here this past weekend he said it best......"Becky, I do believe you have greater things to worry about at this point. Besides, your face doesn't look that bad." I think that was a compliment - my little German friend pulled a funny..........

I digress. What did God do that I am specifically referring to? Well, this past week I received three cards in the mail with Ohio return addresses.....from names I did not recognize. The first one was from Kate.....a very nice letter. She indicated that she was a friend of Beth Beard and had been reading my blog......and she gave some very encouraging words...... I was blessed.... Then another card came from a friend of Beth.....on Monday.... I stopped dead in my tracks.

First of all, let me talk about Beth.....she lost her dad recently to cancer. He survived for more than eighteen months with one of the most aggressive cancers there is - he outlasted most with his will and determination.....and while she is deep in the mourning process, she can't help herself but to think of others....God is using her to bless me through her pain. She is one of my best cheerleaders (there are many cheerleaders for whom I give thanks daily!!!) and I am thankful for her......and for all of them.......for all of you.....

Back to the card from Ohio......Lesa wrote in the card....that I had "No idea how much I had touched others." Lesa brought me to my knees, and I cried (I told you I cry a lot now,....tears of joy and humility).....and now I must confess to all of you....IT ISN'T ME...... I went back and re-read some of the blogs I did in the early stages.....and I don't even remember writing them!!! That is when I knew - it is because it wasn't me. I can't take any credit for helping anyone - I have to give it where it is due....and that is to my savior. God is not only my creator, but also my very best friend. He has held my hand, and blessed me daily with the love and support of hundreds - and thousands - of people. He has orchestrated all of this in His divine plan. God brought me to my knees with Lesa's words. I have not touched anyone - God has touched you through me. And, that, for me, is the most humbling of all....God is using EVEN ME!!!!!! Please know I am a willing servant and will continue to be for the rest of my life. I am so thankful that God is moving others - and while it would be a WOW to take that kind of credit....I simply can't. I will say "God Bless You." I will continue to pray for you and ask that God sends you showers of joy each and every day.

Thank you - all of you - for blessing my life. I would not change this journey for anything.