Our Weird Tubular Moment

Okay, I guess all it takes to stop having those "I miss my kids" moments....is 15 minutes of three girls releasing their hormones all at once. They got home last night and you would have thought that asking them to take a shower was like asking them to stop eating french fries for the rest of their lives....so glad that job falls to David right now!!

So, we got up this morning in preparation for my first follow-up appointment with the reconstructive surgeon. We arrived about 50 minutes early (I have always been habitually early....something about a husband and 4 kids has turned me into someone who isn't always ....on time...). We were called in at 12:45 for a 1:00 appointment - yippee!! What is even better is that we were back in our vehicle by 1:05 - but I gotta tell you about this experience...it was well, it was weird.

Carmen, Dr. Brant's nurse, called us back to the room. The first thing she asked for was the drainage records. Maybe I should explain. The day of my surgery, after Dr. Margenthaler was finished removing the breasts, Dr. Brant started the reconstructive process. Part of that process involved putting tissue expanders in behind the muscle of each breast. He also inserted tubes in the breasts via a hole under each armpit so the fluids would drain into small cups attached to the constrictive bra they put on me. David had to empty those cups for me and keep a record of how much fluid came out each time.....

So, after asking for the records, the next thing she says is (in a heavy mexican accent...or, well, I know it wasn't a pike county accent, that is for sure), "Vell, just so you know, de last two patients I did this to today, dare husbands passed out. So, if you-a-goinna pass out, please-a don't-a look. I can't-a be pullin her tubes and-a helping you, too."

Now, I wasn't freakin out or anything - because I don't really have any feeling in my breast. But I feared for David. So, when I asked him to close his eyes he was like, "NO WAY!! I am going to watch every minute of this". So....okay.... Carmen told me that it would not hurt, but it would feel...weird. Then she began to pull on the tube under my right arm. And it really felt weird - as if a snake was crawling out of my body. I could feel it, but it didn't hurt. She pulled that sucker out and it was more than 12 inches of tube. Of course, David says, "whoa, that is funky. How does that feel, honey? You have got to be feeling weird." NO KIDDING was what I was thinking....then she went to the left boob.....and started pulling. I never thought she would stop - that silly tube was about 18 inches long. I wanted to jump on the scales immediately and weigh myself - I was certain I had lost at least 2 pounds (isn't that soooo the kind of reaction a woman would have? Okay - maybe not all women. But you just HAD to see those tubes!!!)

So, the tubes are out and my next appt with Dr Brant is in 2 weeks when we will start putting fluid into the tissue expanders. The great part about this is that I get to choose the size of my new boobs (I can no longer call them hooters - Austin has put the old ix-nay on that phrase. He said something about that being 'just not right, mom'). David has asked that I gather women who have had this operation and he can look at samples to see what he thinks mine should look like.....yeah - he is SOOOOOOO funny.

Thanks for the prayers!!! I just don't see how anything about this process could have been any better...period. AND - the best part is that I know why.