I'm Watching You

David and I have a new game that we play (seriously - I know what you are thinking and you need to get your head out of the gutter....this is cancer we're talking about). We do - and ladies, I want to apologize in advance. I can tell you, without a doubt, I do not know of ONE woman in my life - married or otherwise, who would play this game with her husband. All I ask for is one "get out of jail free" card.....it is just the cancer thing....I promise.

We look at boobs. We look at all boobs. It is completely innocent, you see - we are simply trying to figure out what would be best for me. It all started after a little confrontation the other evening. I was sitting on the chair and I was having an "out of body experience" regarding my breasts. I told David that my boobs hurt....He responded, "that's because you don't have any." HAHAHA I totally did not think that was funny - but we laughed and so the conversation began.

We needed boob research, and in an effort to get some good boob research in while we were visiting the doctor, I decided to watch boobs for ONE HOUR. David and I agreed - this would be interesting. Actually, he rolled his eyes ( I think it was his attempt to try and convince me that he is only agreeing to this game because I am in need.....what kind of fool does he think I am?) Let me just say that I think boob watching is vastly overrated. Ladies, I watched for one hour as agreed.......and I was completely exhausted. I don't understand - men watch boobs all day long EVERY day. We know they do. And I have a question for men - I want to know how they ever get anything else accomplished. I think we have a serious problem here. Can you imagine how much more productive our society would be if it was ILLEGAL for a man to be caught looking at a woman's boobs. You are all thinking the same thing I am right now...."if you want to get something done right, you put a woman in charge." Am I right? Yeah - you know I am - we all say it.....and now I know why. Because men are too busy lookinig at something else.....please, tell me if I am wrong.

Ladies - I challenge you. Do it for ten minutes and you will see what I mean - there are many different types of boobs out there and I have an entire page in my calendar describing each type as well as the pros and cons. Boobs are a good thing. I do not mean to belittle them in any way - but looking at them every day? Let me just say - you are safe. I am no longer looking at boobs....way too exhausting for me. But I really did do that.....I hope you don't think less of me - it was just an experiment.

No way is this endorsed by God - since He is a woman. I think I am on to something here.