They Named the Cancer

Okay - so, if you went to Triopia like I did, this is really gonna getcha......they call it "Invasive poorly differentiated adenocarcinoma." Seriously - if my cancer was a first grade student and had to stay in at recess to spell her name 10 times for misbehaving, she would NEVER get to go to recess!!!!!

I have a little feedback for this thing:

Invasive - you're darn tootin'....it has invaded MY space and I am not particulary in favor if that little action. Since I am a tad bit competitive, I am looking forward to kickin' this "invasive" in the butt!
Poorly - are you kidding me? They said that poorly meant the cells they examined did not look anything like the original cancer cells....now, for my diagnosis that means nothing. But my brother-in-law, Ed, likened it to the following: If you were walking down the street and looked down and saw someone had spit out their gum, you wouldn't think anything of it - if you saw someone had spit out a mouth of nasty chew...you might saw "eeewwwww"....and that is what they say about "poorly"...my poorly is "eeeewwwww"
Differentiated - well, let's just say that in 4th grade...I missed that word in the spelling bee....funny how we remember things. Mrs. Carnes gave it to me (and I said "ch".....and I think I am a good speller!!!!!)
Adinocarcinoma - well, I don't plan to "add no" nothin to my list.....especially this carcinoma thing.....

Man - I want to meet the man who came up with these names - because it surely could NOT have been a woman - we are way too practical and would have wanted others to be able to say it - AND like it.....and maybe even change their name to it!!!!!

You gotta love this cancer thing - because didn't Jesus teach us that Love conquers all?? Yeah - that is what I thought!!! Thanks, guys and gals - I love you!!!!

September 30, Dr. Hirner, General Surgeon

What a GREAT appointment!!! Uncle Ed went with David and I (Teresa's husband) to meet with the general surgeon. I wanted him to listen - since he has a basic knowledge of medicine (at least his patients hope he does) - to what I was asking and what she was saying. I really, really like Dr. Hirner - she is top notch!!!!

This was the follow-up appointment to what I will refer to as "D-Day". I was diagnosed, and the news delivered, last Friday. She did a lot of talking that day and since I was in a state of shock, I didn't hear much - nor did David. But I want to kiss him all over again - in the midst of his tears that day, he had enough foresight to ask the doctor to have the lab results sent to Mao for a second opinion....that's my guy!!

So, today, I had a LOT of questions. To sum it up ( and I will NOT use medical terms - what a turn off!!!) Dr. Hirner is making an appointment for me to go to the Siteman Cancer Center (Wash U and Barnes) for a second opinion. I do not know when that appointment will be.....but as soon as I know, I will post for you!

Let me tell you what we know. We know that my tumor was 1.5 cm in size. If it is not in my lymph nodes, it is a stage I or early stage II. That is GREAT NEWS!!!! We will not know if it is in the lymph system until surgery - and surgery does not end until the final pathology report comes back...which means I may have to go BACK to surgery if the pathology report comes back saying there were cells present in the lymph nodes.....(and the report given during surgery says there were NOT cells present.....)

What else do we know? Well, I want the breast removed - and since it is my cancer and my life....it is coming off!!! While I am still willing to listen to what someone has to say, my mind is made up on this matter. I did a lot of research and reading this past week - the doctor even indicated today that they have VERY FEW patients with breast cancer who have a mother who had breast cancer at a young age.....my mom was under 40 (around 36) when she got breast cancer.....which is why Robin and I have watched this so closely for years. Keep in mind cancer in the breast will NOT kill me!!! It won't kill anyone....it is when the cancer gets out of the breast and spreads to other parts of the body that it becomes a problem. So, I say - take it off. I will most likely do a lot of other testing after the breast is removed....but for now, I want to take care of the problem at hand.

I could write a lot more - but I am tired and you must be tired of reading. I can not thank you enough for your thoughts and prayers....we feel them! I have so many "God" stories already....so I will share one......and let you go for today.

On Sunday I was feeling a bit overwhelmed. I sat down and began to talk to God (commonly referred to as prayer)....and I simply told Him that while I am so thankful for the many calls and emails, I just didn't know how I could tell the story over and over again.....I would never have the time...but I really did not want to miss talking to the people who care..........this was at noon......later I was EXTREMELY tired, but decided to check my email before I went to bed - and guess what was there??? An email from my dear friend, Kim......she indicated that she had an idea - she wanted to create a blog for me....so I could go on and talk about this - and keep everyone informed.....and not miss anyone!!! GOD IS SO GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Please pray for my family......and the hands of those in charge of my life right now. Thank you for thinking of me - I am humbled......and I love you.

September 27, 2008

Dear friends and family,

I wanted to send an email to thank all of you for your prayers the last couple of weeks. Believe me when I say - the energy was felt!!! I have joked to David several times that this is the best thing that has happened to my marriage (yikes - of course that is not true........but I could have asked him for the world and he would have handed it to me on a silver platter!!!)

Let me tell you what your prayers did for us.....after the spot compression and sonogram showed signs of a mass we had to schedule a biopsy - it was to be at 10am last Wednesday.....so we walked in at 9:55 (yes - that is because at our LAST appointment we waited 2 hours to see the doctor - so....why come early????) The receptionist told me they were checking to see if they could still do the biopsy....since my appt had been at 9:30. Okay - so, my first inclination is to jump across the desk and ring her neck. But then my conscience got the better of me (if possible) and I realized...she is just the messenger - so I now need to find the idiot who wrote the time down wrong and ring their neck......Okay.....

SO they GOT ME IN!!!! Would you believe we were walking OUT of the hospital at 10:25 am - is that crazy, or what? No, folks that is answered prayer..........and they scheduled us to go in next Tuesday to get the results...and said they would call us if they came back early. Well, guess what????? They called us Thursday to say the results were back - I told David some pathologist was laughing his or her butt off at my "milk glands." SO, David and I decided not to tell anyone we were going over Friday to get the results.....for obvious reasons.

So, I need to thank you for that - fast results, a fantastic biopsy, and a great doctor - I really like her!!!! What I did not particularly care for, was the results. "Not very good news" were her exact words. I have invasive breast cancer. Stage II, we believe - but we won't know for sure until we do surgery and they examine the lymph nodes to see if the cancer has spread.

Please know that I am okay - I still believe I will be fine - you know, this is just a bump in the road - at the end of the day I will be fine on the other side - I just don't know if God will reach down and heal me immediately, or if I will have to go through some other stuff - but I WILL be fine. Besides, Karen tells me she always get what she wants -and she wants me to be well!! So I am thinking I got this licked....

And do I need to mention the other answers to your prayers - there are too many, but I have a couple of more. My brother-in-law is a doctor and he is going to our next appt with us - not to mention doing some research for me on the internet. And, my cousin Angi lives in Chicago and her neighbor's dad is the head of gynecological oncology at Northwestern University...AND, her hubby Charlie works for a pharmeceutical company that owns a subsidiary that deals in a lot of oncology medication (Ang - do you think Charlie can get me some free stuff!!! YIPPEE!!!!) The list goes on and on - but it starts with you - my friends and family who love me and have made me feel so blessed. I am without words (yeah - I say that after writing a dissertation in this email!!!!)

I just want to say thank you and ask that you pray for my family. One thing I have learned very quickly is that cancer is not something that effects just me - my husband's heart is breaking. He is so strong, and so scared - please pray for him. Also, pray for Austin. He is such a strong young man - and I do not know what I would do without him. While I welcome your prayers, I want you to know - without a doubt - I am not scared. I know I will be fine. I guess I need help to not feel so guilty about the pain I am causing others - that is not a good feeling...........

Thank you for being who you are - for being in my life - and for making this a better place for me. Please know, without a doubt that I love you and I appreciate you. Now - go hug someone and let them know you love them.

I promise to keep you updated.......thanks, again........God Bless You.